Thlog #10

This week in class, we learned how to make an E-portfolio, which I think is super cool. I think knowing how to work weebly.com will come in handy in the future, and it’s neat that anyone who googles me will find my portfolio as well. I’ve also been working on my writing portfolio this week. Even though the writing portfolio has been time consuming so far, it’s actually been a super helpful project for me. For my first two WPs, I didn’t really grasp the concept of a “driving” thesis statement. After writing my revisions, however, I feel like I completely nailed both theses. They took my papers in a completely different direction, which involved a lot of re-writing and adding in new information, but I’m confident I got them to the “next level”. (I would give myself A’s on both of my revisions). The google doc-a-thon helped me out too. I asked a question about whether or not I was contradicting myself in a certain paragraph, and most people said the paragraph was contradictory and confusing. I ended up omitting the paragraph from my WP1, and it flows much better now. Responding to other people’s questions allowed me to reflect on my own work as well. A lot of people asked about their thesis statement and how to make it stronger, and reading through everyone’s tips gave me some ideas on how to make my own theses even better. At the beginning of the quarter, I thought this class was going to be a drag. Even though the course was difficult at times, I enjoyed it a lot and felt like my writing truly did benefit from it. Thanks for such a great class, Zack. :) 

Thlog #9

The group presentations this week taught me a lot of different things that I didn’t previously know about the English language. In the first presentation, the chief taught me about hedged language and qualified claims. Now, instead of saying, “I’m the greatest and coolest person to ever live”, I say “It is possible that I am the greatest and coolest person to ever live”, which not only makes me sound more intelligent, but less conceited as well. The presentation about sentences taught me a new term: fanboys. Fanboys are the words for, and, nor, but, or, yet, and so. I learned that fanboys join words or phrases together in sentences. My own presentation taught me a lot as well. Previously, I’d thought that parallelism just applied to two lines in the same plane that never intersect. It turns out that parallelism is a super important part of many textual genres, including job applications, essays, scholarly articles, and more. Using parallelism makes any genre look more professional and put together, which in turn gives the author credibility. It also creates flow and makes a piece of writing more organized. My blog is one good example of parallelism. Each post has the same background, an orange title, and text of the same color, font, and font size. Not only can we find parallelism in written texts, we can find it in the physical world as well. The white house, with its pillars and symmetrical windows, is one example of this. The presentations were both educational and funny, and I learned something new from each one. 

Thlog #7

This week I was able to figure out a lot of ideas for my WP3. The list of different genres on the lesson plan was really helpful because it helped me decide what I wanted to do for my own project. I like this project more than the other two writing projects we’ve done, because it’s allowing me to  think outside of the box. On my WP2, I received a comment about not using enough of my own “voice” throughout, and I don’t see that being a problem with this last project. I was stuck between two different ideas for my older audience genre, but I got some great feedback on my PB3A and was able to determine that the second idea was much better. I know I will have to spend more time thinking about this part of the project, because I’m not as confident about it as I am about the first part. The time suggestion you gave in class was helpful as well. I’ve spent most of my time on my younger audience genre so far, because I have to get really creative with it, but I realize that I don’t have to spend the exact amount of time on both for them to be effective. Reading everyone’s ideas in their PB3As was so cool and totally inspired me to get as creative as possible with my own project. I’m excited to see how this project turns out!

PB3A

For my WP3, I want to research a scholarly article about nutrition, nutritional facts, or nutritional facts labels. Using the first prompt idea, I would take this information and make it into two different pieces, one for a younger audience and one for an older audience. 

For the younger audience, I would make the back of a cereal box. The cereal box would be aimed at an audience approximately 7-12 years old, because 7 year olds can usually read on their own and 12 year olds are not yet teenagers and are still considered children. On the box would be a bunch of fun facts about health and nutrition, with a bunch of big fonts and bright colors. There would also be some illustrations, maybe of other kids so the audience can relate to the image, or of characters from popular tv shows or movies. On the side would be a nutritional facts label for the product. The language would be simple, and the sentences would be short. It would include a link to a website where the kid can get more information about nutrition and play fun games, and it would also remind the child to ask their parent’s permission before going online. It might also include a maze where the child can find the healthiest snack, or a crossword where the child can fill in nutritional words based on the simple clues. 

For the older audience, I’m still on the fence about what to do. This genre would definitely be aimed at parents, however. 

I could make a magazine or newspaper article about the low nutritional value of fast food and how harmful this food can be for children and parents alike. For this idea, I would use a formal but still somewhat conversational tone. The vocabulary would be high enough for an adult to understand, but wouldn't be over the average person’s head. The article would include rhetorical questions to make the intended audience of the piece think more critically about the topic. It would include some kind of visual, whether it be a graph/chart or a picture of an organic grocery store. It would contain many facts and not be a very opinionated piece. It would also be organized into multiple, medium length paragraphs.

I could also write a letter to a food company explaining my concern over the list of ingredients in a certain product. The structure of a normal business letter would be maintained— it would include a proper heading and greeting and would contain multiple paragraphs. It would include a handwritten signature at the end as well. In addition to addressing the problem, I would offer one or more possible solutions and suggest that the reader take them into consideration. The letter should be simple, relatively short, and to the point, like most complaint letters. Along with the complaint should come some compliments and thank you’s, so the reader is more obligated to do as asked. Along with being formal, the letter should be polite and friendly. It should also include contact information for the writer of the letter, so they can be contacted if necessary.

Thlog #6

This week in class I got a lot of good tips about my WP2 during the peer reading workshop. I forgot about adding quotes from the course readings, and one of my partners reminded me to add that in. She also told me to elaborate more, which made me realize that I had more evidence than analysis in my essay. WP2 was harder for me than WP1, but I ended up with a lot more information for this project than the first one. It was hard to decide what to write and what to leave out, but I think in the end I used just the right amount of information. I was unsure about my thesis, but using the concept of the arguability test helped me come up with one that made sense and fit with my argument. 

Reflection

• What are some "moves" you see in these videos? 

The Family Guy video uses humor to entertain the audience. In the Bob Ross and Disney videos, they show the painting and describe it as it's being painted. This gives the audience a visual.

• How do these artists describe what they’re doing?  What do the artists refer to while they describe their work?  What do they talk about?  What do they direct our attention towards? 

They describe the motions they're making as they paint. They refer to their tools and the things that they're painting. They talk about why they're doing what they're doing. They direct our attention toward the painting, and even zoom in on what they're painting or describing.  

• How would you characterize each artist's style, and what impact does their style have on you (a viewer/audience member)?  How have these artists chosen to portray their subject matter?  

Bob Ross gets really into his work and describes every move that he makes. This makes the reader laugh and not take him seriously. In the disney video, each artist has a different way of painting the same tree. They use different tools and work at different paces. 

Journal 11/4

Q1. So, in the end, how’d your WP2 paper go?  What were you happy with?  What weren’t you?  Why?  Be specific! (Remember: this is fodder for your end-of-quarter metacognitive reflection)

I think it went well, I answered all of the prompt, and I was happy with way it was organized. What I didn’t like was that I had a little too much information and  I didn’t really know what to include and what to take out.

Q2. Which 2 or 3 comments that you received yesterday were the most helpful for you?  Why?

The comment about adding in course readings was helpful because I totally forgot about that. I also got a comment about elaborating on some of the “moves” I identified.